australian television information archive

A Little Bit Of Biff

Episode 1
Mon, Feb 23, 2009 (9:35, ABC1)
Ratings: 562,000 viewers
Written by John Misto
Directed by Mandy Smith

While managing a stable of sporting superstars, some of Bill's dodgy deals begin to unravel when he is injured whilst saving the lives of others in a terrorist attack overseas. He is evacuated to Australia and hailed as a hero — however contrary to his tabloid image — 'Wild' Bill is always on the make ensuring his cut of his clients' earnings.

When his estranged son Andrew returns from Europe to pick up the pieces of the family company he discovers more than he bargained for!

On the same evening Andrew arrives two of Bill's rugby league players are arrested for fighting but neither will say what caused the fight. One of the players, Jason Kerslake, could lose a lucrative sponsorship deal if his character is 'tainted'.

With: Diarmid Heidenreich as Jason Kerslake, Ian Roberts as Sports Beat Anchor, Kallista Kaval as Caroline, Matt Walker as Nathan Bailey, Fran Morgan as Janelle, Olivera Jonanoska as Kirsty, Damien Freeleagus as Marco Borgi, Kaitlyn Cox as Female Police Sergeant, David Wilson as Priest, John McNeill as Stan, Clare Bowen as Donna Gilbertson, Christopher Stollery as Luke Matheson, Miranda O'Hare as Carla, John Freeman as Sollie Foster, Anthon Clark as 7:30 Report Journalist, Sotiri Sotiropoulus as Luke's Good, Dylan Landre as Martin (TV Reporter), Wayne Moran as Prime Minister, Brent Byrnes as Falcons Coach, Tom Simmons as Falcons Player, Jemwel Danao as Suicide Bomber, Kirsty Lee Bozzetto as Leader of the Cheer Squad, Susan Lim as Coronary Care Nurse, Mark Duncan as Driving Double

Music: "You Can Stay The Night" by Clare Bowdtich

The Best Sex I Ever Had

Episode 2
Monday, March 02, 2009
Ratings: 479,000 viewers
Written by John Misto
Directed by Mandy Smith

The 'Welcome Back Party' for rogue sports agent 'Wild' Bill Telford gets out of hand. Bill's estranged son Andrew is flung back into the arms of his old girlfriend, Naomi, while one of Bill's new football clients has a one-night stand with a prostitute before she overdoses. Unfortunately the woman had been using Andrew's credit card to slice and dice her cocaine — and Andrew is implicated in her overdose. The police are suspicious of Andrew but he cannot give them an alibi without admitting he was sleeping with Naomi.

When 'Wild' Bill returns to work it's in a wheelchair and on his first day back he attends the funeral of a rival agent and manages to snatch back one of his former clients, high-profile AFL player Toddy Barton.

Meanwhile, Andrew has discovered the true chaotic extent of Bill's finances. Bill needs to earn money quickly and he is approached by a Brazilian sports promoter who offers him a small fortune to 'persuade' two volleyball players to 'lose' their exhibition match against Brazil. One of the players, Kylie, readily agrees, but her sister Kelly-Ann proves to be much harder to please.

While sports journalist Sandy, suspects a connection between Toddy and the OD victim, Andrew discovers the victim is not only a hooker but also a man! Toddy doesn't know and his reputation will be shot if it's revealed.

With: Kelly Butler as Sandy Haffner, Paul Barry as Karl, Kallista Kaval as Caroline, Ian Roberts as Sports Beat Anchor, Nathan Butler as Toddy Barton, Katie Wall as Kelly Ann Reed, Zoe Tuckwell Smith as Kylie Reed, John Freeman as Sollie Foster, Diarmid Heidenreich as Jason Kerslake, Lani Tupu as Norberto Silwa, Helen Preston as Skye, Bill Hunter as Ray, John McNeill as Stan, Paul Harwood as Bicep International Agent, David Wilson as Priest, Nicholas Majer as Drunk Sportsman, Andrew McLean as Falcons Player in Toilet, Amelia McVeigh as Gymnast, Jacqueline Robson as Stern Nurse, Liz Deep Jones as Beach Volleyball Commentator, Camila Luchtemberg as Beach Volleyball Scoregirl, Wayne Moran as Prime Minister, Delwar Hossain as Orderley, Kimberly Watton as Female Hurdler, Craig Blair as Boxer, Richard Lang as Male Cyclist

Music: "Requiem" by Pie Jesu, "He's a Rocker" by The Vines, "Friend" by Lowrider, "To The Moon and Back" composed by Hayes/Jones, "Everloving Man" by The Loved Ones, "What About Me" by composed by Garry Frost and Frances Swan

Picking The Seam

Episode 3
Monday, March 09, 2009
Ratings: 399,000 viewers
Written by John Misto
Directed by Mandy Smith

Andrew's English fiancée — who also happens to be his boss — gives him an ultimatum — if he does not return to the UK immediately, he will lose his UN job. Desperate to return, Andrew has discovered that he is a co-director of Bill's company and is jointly liable for the company debts and shonky deeds. He is trapped in Australia.

When Bill's test cricket client, Nathan Bailey, fails a drug test, he insists that he is innocent. Bill blames himself for Nathan's woes, as it was at Bill's insistence that Nathan accompanied him to Thailand and was also injured in the bombing. Bill is determined to help Nathan fight the charge and orders Andrew to prove Nathan's innocence.

Initially skeptical, Andrew discovers that there are several people who had both the opportunity and the motive to 'set up' Nathan. Could Nathan really be the victim of a plot? Andrew discovers an astounding result and earns Naomi's gratitude.

Roz discovers the full extent of Bill's debts and realises there is a possibility that the Telfords could lose their house. Roz's friend, ex-football star Danny Holbrook, is a candidate in a local council election. He is standing on an anti-development ticket. Roz is asked for the 'dirt' on Danny — in exchange for $20,000, enough to placate Bill's immediate creditors.

Bill refuses to curtail his spending until he realises how close Roz is to leaving him. Bill is about to put Roz's $20,000 in the bank when he hears there's a horse called Andy's Pride about to race at Randwick. Instead of banking the money Bill heads for the TAB!

With: Kelly Butler as Sandy Haffner, Ria Vendervis as Vanessa, Paul Barry as Karl, Kallista Kaval as Caroline, Ian Roberts as Sports Beat Anchor, Matt Walker as Nathan Bailey, Matt Walker as Kerry Bailey, Alan David Lee as Jimmy Bartlett, John McNeill as Stan, Suzannan Bayes-Morton as Leanne, Andy Rodoreda as Clough, Teo Gebert as Brian (The Wicketkeeper), Peter Astridge as Lou (The Lasseur), Rudi Baker as Sports Reporter, Mark Duncan as Stuart, Gerry Sont as Radio Chat Show Host, Rebecca Zandstra as Lara (The Vet), Tom Buskland as Man With Radio, Clint Reed as Basketballer, Dane Crawford as Sleeping Falcons Footballer, Andrew Beattle as Stunt Performer, Jim Maxwell as Cricket Commentator, David Morrow as Radio Announcer Racecaller

Music: "Unter Donner Und Blitz" performed by Slovak Radio Symphony Orchestra and Ondrej Lenard

Pursed Lips

Episode 4
Monday, March 16, 2009
Ratings: 381,000 viewers
Written by John Misto
Directed by Karl Zwicky

In a bid to make Telford Sports Management more efficient, Andrew decides to cull Bill's client list. But his actions end in disaster when one of the 'terminated' clients, Dominica Blaine, becomes the first female race car driver to win Australia's biggest V8 race — The Bathurst 1000. Bill orders Andrew to 'retrieve' Dominica's letter of termination from her letter box. Andrew manages to do this successfully but not before he and Dominica have embarked on an affair.

Bill discovers that amongst the letters Andrew 'removed' from Dominica's letter box, is a notice from the Traffic Authority informing her that she has lost 13 points on her licence. When she won at Bathurst she should not have been driving and what sponsor will want a disqualified race car driver! Bill 'persuades' Roz to sign a Statutory Declaration saying that she, not Dominica, was driving the car. When Andrew's deepening relationship with Dominica lands him in trouble it's Naomi who bails him out. In spite of their mutual hostility there is still a spark burning between Andrew and his ex-fiancée.

Roz starts a Ladies' Book Club using books supplied by one of Bill's clients, a handsome soccer star on the rise, Abdi Attigan. Bill starts to suspect that Roz is having an affair with Abdi. And when he discovers that Roz is making a fortune he wonders what's really being sold at the Book Club. Bill's worst suspicions are confirmed when Roz 'disappears' with Abdi and the police start hunting them. Could Roz, model wife and mother, be leading a double-life as a drug-peddler? Danny discovers that Roz is responsible for sabotaging his attempt to run for local government. Roz betrayed him in return for $20,000 — money she desperately needed to pay Bill's debts. When the police close in on Roz and Abdi, Danny has a chance to save them from being arrested. Danny plots a most unusual revenge.

Vanessa urgently needs funds enter the New York Wheelchair Marathon. It will be her last chance ever to compete professionally. Bill 'adjusts' his trust funds to pay Vanessa's way. But when Andrew finds out he returns the money and faces his father's wrath.

With: Kelly Butler as Sandy Haffner, Ria Vendervis as Vanessa, Bill Hunter as Ray, Simmone Jade Mackinnon as Dominica Blaine, Sharhriar Shadab as Abdi Attigan, Ian Roberts as Sports Beat Anchor, Sascha Siljanovic as Sports Beat Reporter, Jordan Lazarus as Amy, Dritan Arbana as Head Butting Soccer Player, Margaret McGowan as Elderley Lady #1, Shay Martin as Elderley Lady #2, Scott Timmins as Falcons Footballer, Stephen Vasquez as Policeman #1, Andrew Henry as Policeman #2, Dean Gould as Andrew Stunt Double, Brett Sheerin as Dominica Driving Double, Raelene Chapman as Roz Driving Double

A Falcon's Tail

Episode 5
Monday, March 23, 2009
Ratings: 452,000 viewers
Written by John Misto
Directed by Karl Zwicky

Bill is delighted when his friend, famous singer Tom 'Dutch' Holland, buys the Falcons. Dutch intends to plough millions of dollars into reviving the ailing team. He is also sending some much needed player-contracts Bill's way. Dutch got his first big break thanks to Bill and he intends to repay the favour. Dutch has also brought his beautiful botoxed wife Brandi with him. But things begin to go awry when Dutch retrenches the Falconettes and Brandi designs some very uncomfortable eco-friendly uniforms for the players.

To make matters worse, Andrew discovers that Dutch and Bill were behind his break-up with Naomi. Andrew confronts his father and the gulf between them grows even wider.

When Falcons player, Ritchie Bower, has a poolside 'encounter' with Brandi, someone takes photos of them. The photos are emailed to Sandy to publish in her sports column. Bill knows if Dutch sees these photos he'll dump the Falcons and go back to America. So Bill must find out who took the photos before anyone can publish them. Initially the finger of blame points to Elly, a Falcons fan who has been stalking Ritchie. When Andrew searches for Elly he is alarmed to discover that she has disappeared. Could something more sinister than blackmail be behind these photos?

Andrew is astonished to learn that Naomi is pregnant. At first Naomi insists that her fiancé Karl, is the father. But she finally agrees to let Andrew take a paternity test. Andrew begins a long and nervous wait for the results. His old feelings for Naomi are slowly being rekindled. During his waiting period he discovers that he has been offered a very good job back in London. So his future is in the balance.

When Andrew is also assigned the task of finding a sponsor for Ritchie's fiancée, an ice-skater called Kristil, he is surprised to learn that Kristil has a most unusual connection with Dutch.

With: Kelly Butler as Sandy Haffner, Paul Barry as Karl, Ria Vendervis as Vanessa, Alex Davies as Brandi, Jeremy Lindsay Taylor as Ritchie Bower, Phillip Dodd as Rocco, Julia Davis as Elly Brady, Diarmid Heidenreich as Jason Kerslake, Bill Hunter as Ray, Craig McLachlan as Dutch Holland, Miranda O'Hare as Carla, Andrew Ausage as Te Una, Inga Romantsova as Lana Alluyeva, Jo Carter as Kristil Coglin, Sandra Campbell as Elly's Old Lady, Zoe Carides as Goth Skater Voice, Mike Drayson as Goth Beer Voice

Music: "Step With The Pressure" performed by TZU, "Boys Will Be Boys" performed by The Choirboys , "Mercy Train" performed by Paris Wells, "Comfort You" performed by Eskimo Joe, "What About Me" composed by Garry Frost and Frances Swan

Brain Snap

Episode 6 (f)
Monday, March 30, 2009
Ratings: 314,000 viewers
Written by John Misto
Directed by Karl Zwicky

When Falcons player, Jordan Portelli, flees a random breath-test his football career is in jeopardy. A recovering alcoholic, Jordan insists that he is the victim of drink-spiking — but no one will believe him. Andrew agrees to investigate Jordan's dubious claim and discovers, to his surprise, that Jordan's allegation is not so far-fetched after all. Andrew is astonished at the number of people who would like to see Jordan thrown out of the club — an ex-fiancée, an irate coach, 'Wild' Bill and even Jordan's mother. Andrew seeks help in his search from Stan the barman. But nothing prepares Andrew for the very dark secret that he soon unearths.

Bill's star golfing client, Flyin' Ryan Cable, has his lucky underpants stolen a week before the Australian Open. Ryan soon develops a career-threatening case of the yips and Bill struggles, without success, to cure him. Bill enlists Danny's help to track down the stolen underpants but when Danny hits a dead-end Bill has no choice but to replace the stolen undies with a replica. But will Ryan be able to tell the difference?

Naomi assures Andrew that he is not the father of her baby and a disappointed Andrew prepares to return to London. But just before Andrew can board the plane, Naomi's fiancé Karl, tracks him down at the airport with some surprising news.

Danny continues his romantic pursuit of Vanessa. He enlists her aid in finding some replacement underpants for Ryan. And, finally, he confesses the nature of his feelings to her.

When 'Wild' Bill is arrested by the police and charged with bribing the magistrate who heard Jordan's drink-driving charge, Andrew reveals that he might be staying in Australia after all. Bill is sentenced to home-detention and is forced to wear an anklet. But no power on earth can keep Bill chained up in the confines of his home.

With: Ria Vendervis as Vanessa, Kelly Butler as Sandy Haffner, Paul Barry as Karl, Paul Gleeson as Ryan Cable, Sam Haft as Jordan Portelli, John McNeill as Stan, Phillip Dodd as Rocco, Kate Bell as Rhonda Hutley, Wayne Pygram as Ross Hutley, Edwina Ritchard as Virginia, Khristina Totos as Natalie Portelli, Bill Hunter as Ray, Julia Davies as Elly Brady, Diarmid Heidenreich as Jason Kerslake, James Lugton as Jordan's Solicitor, Anthony Gaskell as Magistrate, John Samaha as Obese Man, Caroline Kemp as Female Courier, Marea Rayment as Boose Bus Police Officer, Kase Nayel as Stealthy Cop, Michael Farah as Bouncer (Tom), Armstrong Hayes as Bouncer (Jerry), Edmund Aholelel as 'Mighty' Joe Matupa, Rod Zuanic as Taxi Driver, Rebecca Ranclaud as Club Groupie, Betty Toughter as Elderly Toothless Woman, Claire O'Connor as Naomi's Gran, Hilary Beck as Hospital Bed Woman