australian television information archive

Welcome to Swift & Shift

Episode 1
Mon, October 27, 2008

Leanne Murdoch arrives at Swift and Shift from Dubbo. It's her first day and she meets the good, the bad and the stinky who work in the call centre, the loading dock, the despatch area and of course the couriers. Keith Warne the depot manger is under fire from his new Regional Manager Amanda, he is told that he has six months to improve his ever failing depot. During the episode a massive Mambo painting is lost as well as the National Rugby League trophy.

With: Reg Mombassa, Mario Fenech, Tottie Goldsmith

The Polar Bear Suit

Episode 2
Mon, November 03, 2008

A polar bear suit being couriered to a stage show is borrowed by Mario and Luigi to impress Luigi's latest girlfriend. All hell breaks loose when footage of Mario dancing in the suit is uploaded on YouTube. The newcomer Leanne is told to fill in for a sick despatcher and spends the day with the horny guys from despatch. The air conditioning becomes an issue with the phone room and despatch fighting over the thermostat. Keith finds out the twins are road raging his Regional Manager and boss Amanda. Abdullah Azar, the stinky courier, is told to buy a deodorant, George, the disabled worker is learning the forklift, and an angry gay florist wants his misplaced mushrooms.

With: Waseem Kahn, Tanya Lazarou, Stef Dawson, Bessie Bardot, Katherine Isaac

Management Training

Episode 3
Mon, November 10, 2008
Ratings: 371,000 viewers (37th)

Jonathon the CEO of the Tri-Mega Corporation, which owns Swift and Shift, realises that in order to obtain the Government funding he's applied for he needs to management train women, ethnics and the disabled. Keith and Amanda hand pick staff to attend a day of management training. But, after a car accident, obesity issues and a general lack of IQ it is decided that the Swift and Shift staff are useless and Amanda hires the trainers as efficiency managers instead.

With: Brendan Jones as Jonathon, Nick Godsell as Damien Payne, Nicola Parry as Karen Smythe

Sexy Package

Episode 4
Mon, November 17, 2008

Swift and Shift has two brand new efficiency managers, Damien and Karen, who change the computer and logistics system. Unfortunately the system crashes and shuts down the depot. The only courier working is Mario who has to deliver a realistic looking sex doll to a farmer in a small town called Gallops Crossing.

With: Nathan Sapsford, Nick Godsell as Damien Payne, Nicola Parry as Karen Smythe

The Rocket Ride

Episode 5
Mon, November 24, 2008

Regional manager Amanda is organising a charity dinner, with a vintage children's rocket ride as the main auction item. Mario is on a job picking up a motor scooter from a cross-eyed man, when Keith calls him to pick up the rocket. When Mario's van breaks down, he must tow the rocket ride around the CBD on top of the client's motor scooter. There is also a mysterious yoghurt thief among the office staff.

With: Russell Gilbert as Scooter Guy, Orlando Scolese as Fernando the Flouris, Dilshan Rain as Vikram, Con Despinidic as Suit Guy In Car, Fabian Davey as Rocket Thief, Trinity Porter as Topless Waitress, Trinity as Topless Waitress, Judd Howie as Feral Guy, Debra Jarra as Feral Wife, Tank as Feral Dog

The Dead Body, Part One

Episode 6
Mon, December 01, 2008

Swift and Shift offers to transport the ashes of an Australian soldier killed in Iraq back to Australia as a publicity stunt to promote the company. Keith chooses Mario and Melissa as the team that will go overseas. On the way to Egypt, where the army accidentally sent the ashes, Mario and Melissa's flight is forced to land due to a random tsunami.

With: Russell Gilbert as Sam/David Cobbgrove, Brendan Jones as Jonathon, Raphael Materese as Uncle Momo, Waseem Khan as Indian Taxi Driver, Takahi King as Islander Taxi Driver, Sarah Balkham as Luigi's Girl, Avril Hilton as Soldier's Mum, Jon Mangos as News Guy, Sam Chiu as Thai Jail Cop, Cameron Hickson as Aussie Tourist

The Dead Body, Part Two

Episode 7
did not air

Mario and Melissa continue their journey to Cairo. Delayed by a terrorist attack and after getting lost en route to the secret army base, Mario and Melissa's taxi breaks down allowing them to visit the pyramids where they are robbed by their drivers who think they are transporting drugs.

With: Russell Gilbert as Sam/David Cobbgrove, Brendan Jones as Jonathon, Avril Hilton as Soldier's Mum, Rob Shehadie as Fadi El Faik, Tahir Bilgic as Habib El Faik, Jon Mangos as News Gut, Bessie Bardot as Reporter, Orlando Scolese as Fernando the Florist, Joe Sinacori as Funeral Director, Melissa Macalyk as MD Assistant, Andrew Brown as Colonel

Note: after the broadcast of episode 6, SBS chose not to air this episode after concerns were raised by the family of an Australian soldier fatally wounded in Iraq

The Safety Inspector

Episode 8
Mon, December 08, 2008

Everyone is unhappy. David the Dwarf wants a bigger chair and is refused, he then calls Works Cover on the grounds the depot is unsafe. Sole wants to quit after being given one too many difficult deliveries. Abdul wants to kill Alex the despatcher and quit after being bitten by an infidel dog. Keith is under fire as a safety inspector from Works Cover is called to inspect Swift and Shift. And Renzo is rumoured to be having an affair with the mysterious shoe lady.

With: Gary Who as Safety Guy, Jason "Jabba" Davis as Dazza, Tottie Goldsmith as The Show Lady, Orlando Scolese as Fernando the Florist, Ara Natarian as Omar, Raphael Materese as Uncle Momo, Craig Ward as Tradey 1, Les Ferguson as Tradey 2, Kacey as Cute Little Dog

A Swifty Shifty Xmas

Episode 9
Mon, December 15, 2008

Keith organises a Swift and Shift Xmas party, not realising that Amanda is planning to fire him. Mario starts a war with a road safety worker, and the twins and Melissa plan a bout of break and enter skinny-dipping. On the way to fire Keith, a tipsy Amanda smashes into a car and is busted by Murray the Cop, an ex-employee of Swift and Shift whom she fired. Can Amanda broker a deal to get out of the... situation

With: Brendan Jones as Jonathon, Murray Harman as Murray, Lachlan Kelaher as Cop 2, Orlando Scolese as Fernando the Florist, Ara Natarian as Omar, Waseem Khan as Taxi Driver, Greg Stekker as Lollipop Cop, Shane Chandler as Barman, Fabien Davey as Bouncer, Kris Stanley as Drunk Lady, Bill Bentley as Old Guy, Michael Saker as Pool Security