Get Krack!n: episode guide


Episode 1

Wed, August 30, 2017 (ABC, 9:30pm)
Written by Kate McCartney, Kate McLennan
Directed by Hayden Guppy

On the first ever episode the gals explore the latest lifestyle trends, give bona fide health advice and penetrate the real issues affecting you and your family, all with a smile drilled down the barrel of what could be the right camera. The Kates tackle 'dude food' and go inside Marie Kondo's life-changing decluttering method. They'll drink turmeric that's been put into a liquid. And finally, they will chat to A-List celebrity guest Sam Neill!

Starring: Kate McCartney as Herself, Kate McLennan as Herself

With: Sam Neill as Himself, Emily Taheny as Rebecca Slaw, Candy Bowers as Dr Mariam Margoylesles, Katie Robertson as Genevieve Muss, Greg Larsen as Mern, Bec Petraitis as Anne, Kate Dehnert as Deanne, Matt Stewart as Ben, DJ Sista Zai Zanda as DJ Juice, Scott Brennan as Egg Man, Susie Youssef as Egg Woman, Nazeem Hussain as Egg Bro, Hayley Butcher as Egg Mum, Alex Yakimov as Cyclist, Andrea Powell as Show Announcer, Zoë Coombs Marr as Shopper's Korner Announcer

Episode 2

Wed, September 06, 2017
413,000 viewers (20th)
Written by Kate McCartney, Kate McLennan
Directed by Hayden Guppy

After a month on air, the Kates have found their groove and are ploughing ahead with only marginally more understanding of how to conduct a live broadcast. A new addition to the team is news reporter Scarlett Nicdao, who is also an unpaid Year 10 intern. Whatever charisma she lacks is made up tenfold by the radiant weather girl, Bekjut, who has just returned from maternity leave with the figure of a 19-year-old figure skater.

Fashion Krackspert Helen Bidou brings Bali to everyone's doorstep with a piping hot tutorial on sarongs, but the wheels come off the show when a mindfulness segment is interrupted by news that McCartney has been shortlisted for the main role in a US remake of a Scandi-Noir thriller, The Tower. McLennan can't understand why she, the trained thespian, has been overlooked and sets out to prove that she is the real heart, backbone and blonde hair of the duo.

With: Anne Edmonds as Helen Bidou, Adam Briggs as Bekjut, Charlotte Nicdao as Scarlett Nicdao, Michelle Lim Davidson as Penny Kwon, John Leary as Dr Keith, Emily Taylor as Karen Connor, Danielle Walker as Ranger Danny, Sam Simmons as Creepy Dude, Bec Petraitis as Anne, Joanne Maillet as Street Performer, Gillian Cosgriff as Breaker Woman, Elaine Crombie as Kroombe Businesswoman, Laura Davis as Kroombe Woman, Sami Shah as Kroombe Man, Aaron Chen as Beach Man, Rose Callaghan as Female Friend, Emi Canavan as Female Friend, Georgia Whitaker as Female Friend, Andrea Powell as Show Announcer, Greg Larsen as Shopper's Korner Announcer

Episode 3

Wed, September 13, 2017
453,000 viewers (19th)
Written by Kate McCartney, Kate McLennan
Directed by Hayden Guppy

It's an extra-special episode of Get Krack!n today because the Kates are being joined by an A-List celebrity co-host! According to Bryce from her record label, the international pop superstar is a huge fan of the show and will definitely be arriving at any moment.

The Kates are way too pumped to care about melting polar ice caps and what lies ahead for the most recent evictee of hit dating show The Boyfriend. The Get Krack!n Kash Kock pays a special visit to give away cash to one lucky viewer — but only if they answer within three rings! — and an adorable Australian animal waits in the wings for a cuddle with the Hollywood starlet. McLennan takes the celebrity endorsement as irrefutable proof that the show is not shit and that people do like it, but McCartney will reserve judgment on this matter until she hears it from the star herself.

With: Beth Stelling as Dr Joy Klawn, Adam Briggs as BekJut, Madeleine Jevic as Monique, Charlotte Nicdao as Scarlett Nicdao, Rove McManus as Michael O'Beefe, Greg Larsen as Mern, Trevor Ashley as Bryce, Bec Petrairis as Anne, Matt Stewart as Ben, Kate Dehnert as Deanne, Sarah Lang as Medic, Demi Lardner as Emily, Anthony Morgan as Gary, Zoë Coombs Marr as Jean, Gillian Cosgriff as Breaker Woman, Andrea Powell as Show Announcer, Ellie as Harry the Wombat

Episode 4

Wed, September 20, 2017
Written by Kate McCartney, Kate McLennan
Directed by Hayden Guppy

McLennan isn't feeling one hundred percent this morning due to some uncomfortable downstairs "situation", and McCartney is dismayed to find herself carrying the show during her co-host's prolonged trips to the bathroom. To compound this pressure, the Get Krack!n technical department is having a decidedly off day with music and sound cues misfiring like a Trident missile, so McCartney really is riding solo.

She soldiers through a psychotic bread-making display from a group of food truck pioneers, but her patience wears thin during a demonstration of labour-intensive bento boxes for kids' lunches. McLennan appears briefly to hear about Fall décor essentials and what's new with nail art, but is mostly backstage pissing. McLennan finally gets to the business end of her gynaecological issues just in time for McCartney to be violated by an obscene virtual reality display.

With: Aunty Donna as O'Dough's Dough Bros, Kat Stewart as JoJo Balls, Michelle Lim Davidson as Penny Kwon, Fanny Hanusin as Ling, Wes Snelling as Kelvin Vyte, Molly Daniels as Megan, Yassmin Abdel-Magied as Herself, Hannah Gadsby as Herself, Jordan Raskopoulos as Herself, Susie Youssef as Dr Haddad (voice), Abbi Taleb as Dr Haddad, Bec Petraitis as Anne, Matt Stewart as Ben, Kate Dehnert as Deanne, Demi Lardner as Emily, Vachel Spirason as Julio; Craig Milligan, Aurora MacKrill, Mike Golden and Peter Nolan as Hot Croc Band; Andrea Powell as Female Expert, Gillian Cosgriff as Breaker Woman, Andrea Powell as Show Announcer

Episode 5

Wed, September 27, 2017
Written by Kate McCartney, Kate McLennan
Directed by Hayden Guppy

McLennan kicks off the show looking like Frankenstein's monster because she's of the mistaken belief that it's Halloween; a view that's all but confirmed by McCartney's wardrobe choice, which makes her resemble Maggie Thatcher's ghost. After receiving a quick lesson on the International Date Line and how skin tone works, McLennan moves on to cleaning up her next mistake of the day, by making an orchestrated apology for a problematic joke that she made about bisexuality on a previous episode.

After clearing the air, McLennan can't understand why her co-host is still grouchy. Sure, the flamenco guitar player doesn't have a great grasp of personal space, stray things keep wandering in through the Street View window and Helen Bidou has delivered her segment from the studio floor — but they're on TV, doing their dream jobs! As McCartney investigates other career options, it's becoming clear that McLennan is having an allergic reaction to green face paint and as the swelling and discolouration gets worse, it becomes harder to convince her co-host that she is not a monster.

With: Thomas Lorenzo as Pico Pinta, Jean Kittson as Wendy, Adam Briggs as BekJut, Bjorn Stewart as Michael Toddle, Sam Simmons as Creepy Dude, Anne Edmonds as Helen Bidou, Greg Larsen as Mern, Demi Lardner as Emily, Bec Petraitis as Anne, Matt Stewart as Ben, Kate Dehnert as Deanne, Greg Larson as Tim Duncan, Alison Bice as Customer 1, Nellie White as Customer 2, Geraldine Hickey as Customer 3, Louise Joy Gorham as Cindy, Nicolette Minster as Sara, Scarlett Dorrington as Jumping Girl, Gillian Cosgriff as Breaker Woman, Andrea Powell as Show Announcer, Andre as The Goat

Episode 6

Wed, October 04, 2017
Written by Kate McCartney, Kate McLennan
Directed by Hayden Guppy

Only minutes into the Get Krack!n Women's Health Day special, news breaks that a large-scale incident has occurred. The Prime Minister will make a live announcement, and at the minty fresh hour of 3am, the Kates are the only ones on air to break the story. McLennan is grimly determined and obviously thrilled to provide hard-hitting coverage of whatever it is, but McCartney struggles to be swept up in her fervour because she is dealing with her own personal tragedy; she has been put in a yellow dress.

It's probably a monumental and harrowing day for the country, and the Kates reach out to share the emotions of unrelated parties on Twitter and on the deserted pre-dawn streets. As they await the Prime Minister's briefing, they prepare for what the incident might potentially be. Is it killer smart sharks? A vaginal infection? Susan Carland's Muslim army? Have any Aussie or English-speaking lives been lost? Only time will tell, but ideally within the remaining ten to fifteen minutes of the show.

With: Maddison Torres-Davey as Skylar Moon, Ming-Zhu Hii as Elizabeth Jane, Miranda Tapsell as Herself, Nakkiah Lui as Herself, Urzila Carlson as Cath, Toby Truslove as Hunter Jack, Marg Downey as McCartney's Mum, Greg Larsen as Mern, Bec Petraitis as Anne, Matt Stewart as Ben, David Quirk as Drunk Figure, Peaches Morrison as McLennan's Kid, Charli Shore as McCartney's Kid, Gillian Cosgriff as Breaker Woman, Makwaya Masudi as Pasta Man, Anita Smith as Pasta Woman, Helen Gee as Tai Chi Woman, Ruru Yin as Tai Chi Woman, Jenny Law as Tai Chi Woman Voice, Richard Anastasios as Jogger, Andrea Powell as Show Announcer, Greg Larsen as Shopper's Korner Announcer, Roslyn Oades as Shopper's Korner Announcer

Episode 7

Wed, October 11, 2017
Written by Kate McCartney, Kate McLennan
Directed by Hayden Guppy

It's been a long night, neither of The Kates have had any sleep, and they've had to bring their sick kids to work with them because women never get to f*ing stop. McCartney insists that her daughter is teething, despite the obvious fact she has hand, foot and mouth disease just like McLennan's kid. The Kates stagger lamely through an interview with a child skateboarding prodigy while both toddlers scream from their dressing room.

The crew, like their partners, are ignoring The Kates pleas for childcare assistance so it's not surprising when one of the kids wanders the studio backlot during a lesson for busy mums on how to do gardening at night. Nakkiah Lui and Miranda Tapsell briefly take over the desk to give the Kates a moment of respite, but when a renowned photographer lets slip that he left two kids behind with his wife while he gallivanted around Antarctica for four months the women, like McCartney's blistering lips, finally crack.

With: Madeleine West as Trudy Lane, Charlotte Nicdao as Scarlett Nicdao, Anne Edmonds as Helen Bidou, Dr Susan Carland as Herself, Robyn Butler as Dr Malorie Naylor, Deborah Mailman as Prime Minister Burney, Sam Simmons as Creepy Dude, Greg Larsen as Mern, Bec Petraitis as Anne, Kate Dehnert as Deanne, Jessica Murray as Auslan Interpreter, Tiana Hogben as Carla, David Pellerin as Skating Instructor, Natalia Baranowski as Skater, Katherine Daniel as Skater, Naomi Rukavina as Boxing Instructor, Casey Bennetto as Pianist, Annabel Crabb as Reporter 1, Leigh Sales as Reporter 2, Andrea Powell as Show Announcer

Episode 8

Wed, October 18, 2017
Written by Kate McCartney, Kate McLennan
Directed by Hayden Guppy

It's the season finale of Get Krack!n and the show has lost its major sponsor, advertorial company Danza Direct, due to a biosecurity mishap — but the Kates have expenses and no other skills so they need this show to go 'round again. They are bright, they are chatty, their cortisol levels are through the roof and they're determined that this finale will not be the 'finale' finale of the show.

Unfortunately, most of the crew are still drunk from their floor manager, Mern's, wedding the previous night and their shoddy camera work and projectile vomiting puts the whole enterprise at risk. The Kates are irritated but undeterred — they lose it over a funny dog video and obsess over fermented foods and an ex-Olympian's new line of bathers. Convincing potential new sponsors that they can physically endure another season, let alone another 20-30 minutes of the show, will be the performance of a lifetime!

With: Christie Whelan Browne as Jasmine Ray, Paul F. Tomkins as Richard Templeman, Celia Pacquola as Regan Jones, Dave Thornton as Diggsy, Reg Gorman as Pete Stark, Anne Edmonds as Helen Bidou, Katie Robertson as Genevieve Muss, Adam Briggs as BekJut, Michelle Lim Davidson as Penny Kwon, Charlotte Nicdao as Scarlett Nicdao, Greg Larsen as Mern, Bec Petraitis as Anne, Matt Stewart as Ben, Kete Dehnert as Deanne, Demi Lardner as Emily, Urzila Carlson as Cath, Gillian Cosgriff as Breaker Woman, Andrea Powell as Show Announcer, Casey Bennetto as Series Vocalist, Geraldine Quinn as Series Vocalist, Emily Taheny as Series Vocalist, Nkechi Anele as "Proud Black Woman" Vocalist