australian television information archive

Episode 1

Thursday, July 10, 2003

Thirteen rooms, thirteen mysteries! The oddest things happen in Fat Cow. If you want to know why, forget the obvious! Legendary 80s pop icon Rory Toogood dies in the Fat Cow Motel but Toogood had been found dead in Iowa in 1976.

Episode 2

July 17, 2003

Needless to say, once Jack has disproved the Rory Toogood miracle, the Fat Cow-ians are not happy! Least of all Cassie Brown, savvy Fat Cow Motel proprietor, who's desperate to keep Jack's discovery under wraps. Rory Toogood was the best thing that happened to Fat Cow since… well, for a really long time. And Jack? Will he reveal the hoax to the world? He says he needs time to consider his next move. This leaves Cassie and the Fat Cow-ians dangling and desperately trying to dissuade him… not knowing that Jack does not respond well to pressure!

Meanwhile, an ugly dispute breaks out in Fat Cow. Elanor and Penny, co-owners of The Fat Cow Vegetarian Store, have fallen out in a spectacular way, with Elanor accusing Penny of abandoning a lifelong commitment to vegetarianism to become a (gasp!) carnivore.

In a further twist, the Vegetarian Store's delivery van—loaded with thousands of dollars worth of lentils, pumpkin seeds, and other vegetarian foodstuffs—has disappeared without trace. And committed vegetarian Elanor is pointing the finger at Penny, accusing her of an act of petty revenge for being exposed as a carnivore.

To everyone's astonishment, another suspect enters the picture. Bill Butler, the Fat Cow butcher, out of hiding after Jack exposed him as the Rory Toogood impostor, is found with lentils embedded in the ripple soles of his shoes. Bill, a passionate Meat Man, legendary for his vocal anti-vegetarian stance, vehemently denies involvement in the disappearance of the delivery van. And he has an alibi. Cassie says she saw him passing the motel at the time the delivery van was stolen. It seems an insoluble mystery, until Jack, driven by his innate curiosity, comes up with the culprit…

Episode 3

July 24, 2003

Humiliated by the lentil incident, Fat Cow butcher Bill Butler leaves town, causing the Fat Cow population to drop by one, bringing it one step closer to extinction.

Then Cassie discovers that Fat Cow's secret—the Rory Toogood hoax—has 'gone global'. Jack denies going public—the only person he told was his producer… oops! Despite Jack's protests, the town shuns him. Cassie? She simply hates his guts.

Meanwhile, it's Fat Cow vs. neighbouring Wilga in the annual pool tournament, to be held in the Fat Cow Motel bar. This year's trophy, as nominated by the Wilgoans, is Fat Cow's pride and joy—The Big Udder! The Wilga Travel Lodge pool sharks are fronted by manageress Wilma and her pliant husband Phil. And we meet young, precocious Ronnie, who was left broke when her dad's Rory Toogood business went belly up after the hoax was exposed.

Jack, seriously contemplating quitting his project and leaving town, is distracted when a spate of thefts from several rooms of the Fat Cow Motel are reported—fingers are pointed and, with the influx of Wilgoan visitors for the pool tournament, the suspects are numerous. Was it Ronnie in her desperation to make ends meet? Or was it the feeble Phil—no longer able to service Wilma's exorbitant tastes.

Who had access to the room keys in Cassie's office? Why were only certain rooms burgled? Jack knows the answers—and who's responsible.

Episode 4

July 31, 2003

Jack (Brendan Cowell) reveals the identity of the thief. Ronnie (Charlie Koranias) and her father make a hasty retreat. And so Fat Cow's population drops by another two… two steps closer to disappearing off the map altogether.

Meanwhile, Jack has decided not to quit Fat Cow. While the video profile of 'The Town That Rory Toogood Saved' is out the window, he can envisage a compelling documentary charting the death of a small country town. He's also attracted to Cassie. Cassie, unsurprisingly, reacts scathingly to Jack's view that the town is dying, refusing even to talk to him. In fact, she organises Fat Cow—or what's left of it—to have nothing to do with Jack or his documentary.

Elsewhere, tragedy strikes Fat Cow. Arthur Cassley, a local legendary for his bad luck, is found dead one morning in a ravine. High above him is a rickety old bridge. Floating beside him are two chickens, once frozen, now thawed. It's well known that the bridge across the ravine was a short-cut home for Arthur. It's also known that Arthur was in despair in the Fat Cow Motel's bar the night before. A week earlier, it had been his turn to buy the Lotto ticket for his syndicate. He'd forgotten. The syndicate's numbers came up… doh! He had won the chook raffle that night—a change in fortune… or not?

The post mortem solemnly records that Arthur Cassley—weight 68kg, height 175cm—died as a result of injuries sustained in a fall from the rickety old bridge. It's discovered that Arthur had a life insurance policy and when Ursula, the insurance assessor, arrives she declares Arthur's death was a suicide, thus voiding the policy. Arthur's widow, Tracey and their children—along with Cassie and the people of Fat Cow—are doubly distraught. Not only do they refuse to believe Arthur would commit suicide, but without Arthur or the policy settlement the family will be destitute.

When all seems totally lost, Jack steps in, declaring Arthur's widow is entitled to the policy settlement. Arthur's death wasn't a suicide but an accident, and Jack can prove it…

Episode 5

August 07, 2003

Once Jack has proved that Arthur Cassley's death was accidental, thus enabling his family to collect his life insurance monies, Jack is slightly elevated in the minds of Fat Cow-ians—even in Cassie's. Tracey Stokes—Arthur's widow—moves her family to Brisbane to start life over. Thus Fat Cow's population shrinks by another half dozen. Another half a dozen steps closer to extinction.

But life goes on and things are closing in on Cassie. With the debt piling up, Cassie's suppliers are pulling out, and her bank manager has called a meeting to discuss the overdraft on her double mortgage. Meanwhile, Jack is bedridden at the motel with a monstrous bout of the flu.

Jack's misfortune proves to be Cassie's boon. She borrows his video camera and the audience is given a peek behind the scenes in Cassie's mind. While publicly, in terms of Fat Cow's future, she's never anything other than an extreme optimist, we discover that in fact she has her doubts about her ability to save the town. She creates a visual record of Fat Cow, using Jack's camera. For posterity. Just in case the town dies…

Back at the motel Jack has intercepted Matthew (Michael Futcher), Cassie's bank manager, who has arrived early for his meeting with Cassie. Jack takes control, telling Matthew that he is the co-manager of Fat Cow Motel and assuring him that he and Cassie have big and lucrative plans in store for Fat Cow. Namely, The Fat Cow Rock Festival, Australia's answer to Woodstock, or so Jack amazingly manages to convince Matthew. Much to Cassie's disgust upon her return, Matthew thinks Jack is a business visionary. Jack effectively saves Cassie's butt, but Cassie is a proud and independent girl and protests—her butt doesn't need saving by anybody, especially not by Jack!

Episode 6

August 14, 2003

Cassie revisits Fat Cow history when she contemplates the headless statue. Meanwhile, Jack has uncovered certain information that leads him to believe that Cassie is attracted to him.

Episode 7

August 21, 2003

Cassie is busy preparing for the annual Miss Fat Cow pageant to be held at Fat Cow Motel when on the eve of the pageant tradgedy strikes when Fat Cow's sole policeman is found clubbed to death in the bathtub

Episode 8

August 28, 2003

Cassie has another strategy to secure Fat Cow's future—linking it with a prosperous international Sister City. However, when the delegation arrives relations rapidly deteriorate.

Episode 9

September 04, 2003

Despite being told not to cross Mayfield Road, Jack can't help himself. This is the domain of the self-titled King Roy and Fat Cow-ians know very well to leave Roy to his own devices.Cassie is in denial about any feelings that she might have for Jack as things grow even grimmer for her on the financial front.

Episode 10

September 11, 2003

The resident drunk, Axel, claims he was taken by aliens and two bodies are discovered near an anvil, a bag of potatoes and a side of beef. The post mortems reveal that one victim drowned on dry land.

Episode 11

September 18, 2003

Cassie admits to near-defeat on the issue of saving Fat Cow, which prompts Jack to ask did Fat Cow ever thrive? And if so how? And what, then, caused the decline?

Episode 12

September 25, 2003

Fat Cow is on its last legs. Literally. The population is down to 4—Jack, Cassie, Martin and Ian. The end is nigh. However, Cassie, in total denial, refuses to accept it.

Episode 13

October 02, 2003 (finale)

Cassie, the twins and Jack are about to go their separate ways when they are visited by Frank Merryweather and Trixie Robinson, producers for Hooligan Entertainment