australian television information archive

Welcome to Whispering Pines

Episode 1.01
September 25, 1997
W: Gary Reilly & Tony Sattler
D: Ian Gilmour

When Ted Bullpitt moves into the Whispering Pines Retirement Village, he discovers life in the slow lane is very hectic. He's stalked by village glamour queen Joan Collins, has a fight over his famous chair and finds the village gardener growing suspicious mushrooms in his unit.

Starring: Ross Higgins as Ted Bullpitt, Peter Whitford as Johnno Johnstone, Vanessa Downing as Muriel Johnstone, Elaine Lee as Joan Collins, Bruce Spence as Darcy Kelso, Jacqueline Brennan as Samantha MacDonald

With: Linden Goh as Cab Driver, Peter Callan as Removal Man, Neil Young as His Mate, Joanna Moore as Cook, Brad Hall as Nurse, Ian Lind as Stunts

Ted Bullpitt, Love God & Legend

Episode 1.02
October 02, 1997
W: Gary Reilly & Tony Sattler
D: Ian Gilmour

Ted's peaceful retirement is turned into chaos when his granddaughter, Terri, comes to stay and Johnno's "gardening video" turns out to be a porno movie.

Starring: Ross Higgins as Ted Bullpitt, Peter Whitford as Johnno Johnstone, Vanessa Downing as Muriel Johnstone, Elaine Lee as Joan Collins, Bruce Spence as Darcy Kelso, Jacqueline Brennan as Samantha MacDonald, Kirstie Hutton as Terri Bertolucci

With: none

The Revenge of Neville

Episode 1.03
W: Gary Reilly & Tony Sattler
D: Ian Gilmour

Ted is at odds with the rest of the village when he refuses to move Neville, his much loved concrete garden Aborigine, during the annual village garden festival.

With: Ernie Dingo as Special Guest, Paul Tassone as Marcel De Pasquale, John Paramor as Host

The Green, Green Grass of Darcy

Episode 1.04
October 09, 1997
W: Gary Reilly & Tony Sattler
D: Ian Gilmour

Joan Collins has erotic plans for Ted, but when Darcy's secret crop of "special herbs" are accidentally mixed into Ted's biscuits, the village line dancing team creates an amazing spectacle at the competition finals.

With: Marilyn Mayo as Host

The Revenge of Zorro

Episode 1.05
October 30, 1997
W: Gary Reilly & Tony Sattler
D: Ian Gilmour

When the airport flight paths are re-routed over Whispering Pines retirement village, Ted and Johnno fight back with their pigeons.

With: Anne Fulwood as newsreader, Kevin Golsby as Derek Roving

The Battle of the Bulge

Episode 1.06
November 27, 1997
W: Gary Reilly & Tony Sattler
D: Ian Gilmour

Ted and Johnno embark on a scheme to win free food and money when they sign up with a new weight loss program and Joan demonstrates the amazing erotic power of a woman to Terri.

With: Brendan Higgins as Father Paul, Genevieve Mooy as Roxanne, Drew David as Damiam, David Mackennal as Cop 1, Chris Maxfield as Cop 2, Derek Lowe as Arthur Wyndham

Up, Up, and Away!

Episode 1.07
W: Gary Reilly & Tony Sattler
D: Ian Gilmour

Samantha turns to Joan for expert advice when her boyfriend is unable to "perform". Meanwhile Ted's life is destroyed when, surrounded by bills and no money in the bank, he must sell his most valuable asset — the Kingswood.

With: Doug Scroope as Harold Quigley

Pickle Me Onions

Episode 1.08
October 16, 1997
W: Gary Reilly & Tony Sattler
D: Ian Gilmour

Samantha's plans to impress the chairman are thrown into chaos when Ted and Johnno's arguments about who makes the best pickled onions erupt into very explosive warfare.

With: Max Phipps as Archbishop

Cats Can Fly

Episode 1.09
October 23, 1997
W: Gary Reilly & Tony Sattler
D: Ian Gilmour

The residents are fascinated when Joan starts writing a sex advice column for the aged. Ted's battle with Madge Burrows's cat escalates and everyone must have flu shots from a very strange doctor.

With: Shan Jayaweera as Dr. Khan

Cup Day Doom

Episode 1.10
November 20, 1997
W: Gary Reilly & Tony Sattler
D: Ian Gilmour

The village is shocked when Samantha negotiates the sale of the cursed Villa 39 to Australia's great sports legend, Dawn Fraser. Joan consults her Tarot cards to predict the winner of the Melbourne Cup.

With: Dawn Fraser as Special Guest Star, Brendan Higgins as Father Paul

A Horse Named Deidre

Episode 1.11
November 06, 1997
W: Gary Reilly & Tony Sattler
D: Ian Gilmour

Excitement grips the village when a resident dies and leaves them a racehorse. Meanwhile, Ted's life is ruined by the surprise arrival of his hated brother, Bob, and the sudden disappearance of his beloved Kingswood.

With: Colin McEwan as Bob Bullpitt, David Mackennal as Cop

Bye Bye Birdie

Episode 1.12
August 07, 1998
W: Gary Reilly & Tony Sattler
D: Ian Gilmour

Ted's battle with a nesting magpie escalates to war. Excitement grips the village when Samantha announces a famous celebrity will judge the annual craft show where Ted and Johnno vie for the best home brew trophy.

With: Robina Beard as Gwen the Ranger, Barry Crocker as Special Guest

Come Fly with Me

Episode 1.13
November 13, 1997
W: Gary Reilly & Tony Sattler
D: Ian Gilmour

When Ted's and Joan's pills get mixed up they both go through amazing personality changes. And the annual village holiday trip is ruined when Ted negotiates a special discount airline deal.

With: Shan Jayaweera as Dr. Khan

Grey Power versus the Bank

Episode 2.01
March 12, 1998
W: Gary Reilly & Tony Sattler
D: Peter Vaughton

When the local bank branch is set to close, the village residents fight back by enlisting the help of a crusading current affairs show.

Starring: Ross Higgins as Ted Bullpitt, Peter Whitford as Johnno Johnstone, Vanessa Downing as Muriel Johnstone, Elaine Lee as Joan Collins, Bruce Spence as Darcy Kelso, Jacqueline Brennan as Samantha MacDonald, Kirstie Hutton as Terri Bertolucci

With: Kevin Golsby as Dereck Roving, John Gregg as Ivan Black, Gerard Carroll as Mr Black's Assistant, Christopher Tomkinson as Mr Black's Assistant, Christopher Thompson as Cameraman

Flying the Coop

Episode 2.02
March 19, 1998
W: Gary Reilly & Tony Sattler
D: Peter Vaughton

Samantha's job is under threat when a new, luxury retirement village opens across the road from Whispering Pines. Meanwhile, Ted creates havoc when he decides to keep chooks in the village.

With: Philip Dodd as Comet Man

Chicken Licken Stricken

Episode 2.03
March 05, 1998
W: Gary Reilly & Tony Sattler
D: Peter Vaughton

After Darcy sells some stolen poultry to the residents, the whole village faces the threat of Hong Kong Chicken Virus when Dr Khan places them all in quarantine. Meanwhile, Johnno goes hi-tech and discovers the secret delights of cybersex.

With: Shan Jayaweera as Dr. Hyrundi Khan, Christopher Skase as Special Guest

The Phoney War

Episode 2.04
March 26, 1998
W: Gary Reilly & Tony Sattler
D: Peter Vaughton

When the village phone system collapses, Samantha and the residents turn to urban warfare to force Telstra to come and fix them.

With: Theo Stephens as Telstra Tech/Postman, Danny Adcock as Supervisor, Ross Symonds as Newsreader, Kirstie Hutton as Operator, Shannon O'Hagan as Shannon from Budgewoi

We of the Neville Neville

Episode 2.05
April 02, 1998
W: Gary Reilly & Tony Sattler
D: Peter Vaughton

Samantha is delighted and intrigued to receive letters from a secret admirer in the village and Ted is shocked to discover that he is not an Australian.

With: Shan Jayaweera as Dr. Hyrundi Khan, Tony Llewellyn-Jones as Mr Lynch, Neville Bonner as Special Guest

One Hump or Two?

Episode 2.06
W: Gary Reilly & Tony Sattler
D: Peter Vaughton

Joan plans a return to the stage with her former lover and leading man Tyrone Wilde, and Ted gets a bad case of Hump Rage when the local council puts a speed hump outside the village.

With: Stuart Wagstaff as Special Guest, Valerie Bader as Heather Casey, John Clayton as Judge

Abracadabra… I Think

Episode 2.07
W: Gary Reilly & Tony Sattler
D: Peter Vaughton

The villagers are in for some surprises when an absent-minded magician moves in and Samantha wins a personal trainer for a month.

With: Shan Jayaweera as Dr. Hyrundi Khan [uncredited], Ross Skiffington as Bernie Croker, Paul Chubb as Dave Dempsey, Joel Croome as Troy Power

Too Many Teds

Episode 2.08
W: Gary Reilly & Tony Sattler
D: Peter Vaughton

Johnno's cybersex affair backfires when his secret internet lover turns up and Samantha's gala pool reopening party is disrupted by some surprise inflatable "toys".

With: John Hinde as Special Guest, Kate Fitzpatrick as Helga, Elaine Smith as Journalist, Ken Goodlet as Cardinal Fitzgerald, Oscar Redding as Photographer [Steve]

Desperate and Dateless

Episode 2.09
W: Gary Reilly & Tony Sattler
D: Peter Vaughton

Samantha joins a dating agency and Johnno hypnotizes Darcy to recall the recipe of his very popular salad dressing.

With: Brian Meegan as James

The Flying Circus

Episode 2.10
W: Gary Reilly & Tony Sattler
D: Peter Vaughton

Everyone in the village has to give blood and Johnno and Ted have a fight over Johnno's new radio controlled model airplane.

With: Shan Jayaweera as Dr. Hyrundi Khan [uncredited],

Johnno the Chick Magnet

Episode 2.11
W: Gary Reilly & Tony Sattler
D: Peter Vaughton

A crime wave is sweeping the village. Samantha is chosen to front the Pines Corporation's TV commercials and after an argument with Muriel. Johnno gets a wig and a girlfriend.

With: Pat Bishop as Bonnie, Penny Biggins as Shazza, Philip Edwards as Chuck Frykovsky

Ted Bullpitt's Love Child

Episode 2.12
W: Gary Reilly & Tony Sattler
D: Peter Vaughton

The Bullpitt household is thrown into chaos when Terri is told to leave the village. Uncle Bob turns up with another shonky scheme and Ted is shocked to meet his unknown love child.

With: Colin McEwan as Bob Bullpitt, Shirlene Coombs as Herself, Stephen O'Rourke as Jack Bullpitt

Everybody Loved That Bloody Cat

Episode 2.13
W: Gary Reilly & Tony Sattler
D: Peter Vaughton

Samantha finally meets the man of her dreams. Ted's house is invaded by a vicious Rottweiler dog who's obsessed with TV. Two of the best-known village residents die suddenly and Johnno plans a trip around Australia.

With: Ray Meagher as Special Guest, Kujo as Tiny, Jeremy Ball as Sean Burrows, Bill Stringer as Bert, Dahlis Maunder as Betty